If you caught yourself singing the title of the article, you are my generation kind of people.

At our advanced age, the horse and carriage usually has some baggage that goes with it.  The “my-stuff-and-your-stuff” conversation, usually includes the “my-children-and-your-children” chapter, and this is where things tend to get tough.  The stars in the eyes and butterflies in the stomach are less prominent, and you know that this time round the marriage will probably end in death and divorce is a bit further down the trail of thought.

The upside of getting married (again) when you are older, is that you know what you are in for.  You know the mistakes you made and usually we tend to be more open-minded and realistic than the first time around.  We know that people make mistakes (including yourself) and that you have to look after yourself financially, and that it is not the job of your spouse to do so. 

Regrettably, there is no “seniors special” on a Wednesday for marriages and we still need to make the call on how we will get married.  So, for easy reading, with those reading glasses intact, here is a short summary.

The basic three choices are:

• In Community of Property:  All marriages without an antenuptial contract are automatically IN community of property.  In simple terms, all assets and liabilities acquired before and during the marriage are considered joint property, shared equally by both spouses.   No marriage contract equals everything goes into one pot and gets split equally.  Irrespective of who bought what or made what debts.  Can you see the red flags?
• Out of Community of Property: There are two types to choose from, that I will touch on hereunder.  Most important is to remember:  You and your partner HAVE to sign an antenuptial contract, attested by a Notary,  before getting married.  Under OCOP, your assets and liabilities are kept separate. You will not be responsible for your partner’s debts, and you will have control over your own assets.   The two types that you can choose from:
• With accrual: From date of marriage the parties will build together on the accrual portion of the marriage. Think of it as a little “nest-egg” of what you are acquiring during the marriage.   At the dissolution of the marriage there can be an accrual claim against the joint estate.
•  Without accrual: Each spouse’s assets remain separate throughout the course of the marriage, and in the event of death or divorce, each spouse keeps their own assets and property. 

For those of us with the pensioners-discount card, why should you rather use the Out of Community of property option.

1. If you have personal assets, your primary motivation for using this option is to protect those personal assets. No need to pay for someone else’s bad financial decisions with your life savings.  It can protect your business from being included in divorce settlements.

2.  With an ANC in place, you won’t be held responsible for your spouse’s debts, giving you financial security and peace of mind.

3.  Inheritance and transparency:  The peace of mind that comes with an ANC, not only for the prospective bride and groom but the children involved.   Knowing that mom and dad is looked after and will not be open for the debt of another and that the inheritances is as planned.

Getting married when you are a bit older and wiser, does not have to be a family-political nightmare.  Have a sit-down with your prospective spouse and the children involved.  Open is better and then the baggage on the carriage become a very light load to carry. Enjoy those twilight years with the person you love, while knowing you made a sound financial plan for your heirs and spouse to be.