He hit me, but it wasn’t his fault.

In February, people across the world celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is one day of the year dedicated to making those you love, feel loved. People send bouquets of red roses, cliché teddy bears and chocolates; but this is all done in good spirits.

Romantic relationships are some of the most life altering relationship. Some of them, because they are beautiful and fulfilling and some because of the pain and destruction they cause.

Domestic violence is one of the biggest ills facing society. One in five women in South Africa have experienced physical violence by the time they turn 18. Before we go any further, let’s define abuse: to treat someone with cruelty or violence, especially repeatedly or regularly. Abuse can take the form of physical violence (beating) or verbal abuse (“you are worthless”) or sexual abuse (any unwanted sexual attention). Domestic violence speaks to a category of abuse that takes place in the family or in intimate relationships.

Abuse survivors are often ill-informed about what their remedies and how they can go about getting protection. The Domestic Violence Act 116 of 1998 provides for a protection order. This is similar to what the man on the street calls a restraining order. In essence, it is a court order that prohibits one person from making contact with another person. On the breach of such an order, that person faces possible arrest and will be criminally charged.

According to section 4 of the Act, a complainant (abuse survivor) must do the following:

• Apply to a court by completing Form 2 (attached to this blog)
• Complete an affidavit in the presence of the clerk, detailing:
  • The facts on why there is an application (eg. My partner repeatedly hits me)
  • The nature of the order applied for (a protection order)
  • The name of the police station where the complainant would most likely report further contact from the respondent
• The clerk then signs and stamps your documents, places it in a file and takes you to the magistrate
• The magistrate reads the file and either:
  • Dismisses the file if no case of Domestic Violence is present
  • Or, grant an interim (temporary) protection order
  • Or, postpone the matter without granting an interim protection order and provide a date where the respondent has an opportunity to detail his/her account of events.
• If an interim protection order is granted, then the order will be served on the respondent by the police, the plaintiff will accompany the police to serve the documents.
• The clerk of the court will give you a return date, which upon it will be decided whether to make the protection order permanent or not.
• If the respondent does not appear at court on the return date, the court will grant the order in the respondent’s absence if the documents were served on him/her.

It is important to remember, that by law (Domestic Violence Act), these proceedings must be done in private. Only parties to the dispute and their legal representatives are allowed in the court room. Therefore, you as complainant’s privacy is protected.

If you are facing any abuse, please remember that there are legal measures in place that can protect you. Further, I am here to help you through the process. So do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.